A collection dedicated to the spirit
of the feminine in each of us . . .
In the following nine posts you will be able to view my most recent show at Loomis Hall in Blaine WA. The exhibition opened on Mother’s Day weekend and will continue through the month of May. I included a written piece accompanying the paintings based on my impressions and experience. I hope you enjoy both the paintings and the writings . . .
. . . Uniqueness
It is true that not one of us is alike in all ways, and I find that to be a curious thing about life. Often we seek to normalize ourselves, thinking this is what is needed to truly belong to our human family. I had a lot of practice in attempting to be like everyone else until one day I made the decision to give up and be myself. I like this quote I picked up some time ago, author unknown . . . “Be yourself. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter won’t mind.”
Living into awareness of ourselves is sometimes uncomfortable, always valuable. The journey of self-discovery takes more than simply breathing and going through the motions. It takes courage and tenacity to show up in your fullness no matter what anyone else has to say about it. This painting is a stark example of my commitment to be me and only me. I set out to paint and after one throw reeled myself back. It felt complete, finished, done. An essential part of the expression of my art is knowing when to stop. Can I really have the ‘audacity’ to claim this single, provocative throw as a finished painting? I do. I look at this piece and can’t imagine what else it could need. I call it “Essence,” for it is a visualization of that which is truly and purely, uniquely, just ME!
. . . Home
It seems to me that no matter our age, education, family, or geography, something we women share is a sense of home. We create home in our work, by giving our dwellings of all sorts a sense of haven and welcome. “Anam Cara” speaks to a deep expanded meaning of home. It’s a Celtic term for the spiritual belief in soul connection, and for me that’s what is at the heart of the concept of home . . . A concept that women seem to embody effortlessly whether they are single, married, rich or poor, young or old. I believe this is one of the wonderful gifts of the feminine.
. . . Destiny
Why are we here? Where did we come from? Where are we going? Big questions . . . big human questions asked of both women and men. Sitting in my living room in the early morning hours I often find myself looking up through the sky-lights into the dark sky just beginning to show the light of dawn. There with the blush of my dreams still present in my thoughts I have passed many hours pondering these big life questions . . . In the moments that rolled into minutes I would sense a common thread running in all and through all: all life, all time, all space.
The questions of our destiny here and beyond are something we women all share whether we are nursing our babies in the middle of the night or daydreaming out the window of a high rise in New York City . . . My “Immutable Perception,” in this visualization is a sense of the oneness of life here and beyond into the universe . . . A oneness that to my astonished and mystified heart and mind incorporates not only mine, but all of our thoughts, desires, dreams and actions . . . Amazing . . .
. . . Sacred Partnership
The spirit of the feminine is deeply rooted in the desire for meaningful relationship. Looking over the landscape of my life I see a highly textured, colorful, animated mosaic of unique individuals with whom I have a relationship. Whether casual as the bank teller, or intimate as a lifelong friend, child or spouse--they all play a part in the fabric of my existence.
My intimate partner is one of a handful of people that have great impact on me, the one with whom I share all aspects of life. Our partnership is both my haven and source of the stuff of life that gives me opportunity to grow and develop. Our commitment to each other involves working through all the challenges in life as a team . . . The kind of alliance that I consider sacred to my journey here and beyond life on this earth.
At it’s best, this partnership is a little like pair-skating . . . We are on the same ice, aligned with values and compatibility . . . We skate within easy range of each other, delighting in our individual creations . . . Coming together we share our individual contributions, creating a magnificent synergistic dance . . . We are fully functioning on our own,
marvelously enhanced by the other . . .
The paintings “Soundless,” and “Esprit” are visual representations of a pair that are similar and synergistic together, while individually unique and interesting.
. . . Joy
I am pleased to say that my connection to art began in joy. As an adult I had a series of dreams that called me to paint. When I responded to this call, I had no expectation other than pure expression, very much like the child I once was, my small fingers holding on to chalk, crayons, finger-paints and clay. My brushes, pots of acrylic paint and canvas became my new field of delight.
I believe that where pure, inexpressible joy exists in our lives we can find a key into the heart of our deepest desire and life purpose. The journey into art brings me a meaty joy offering up a complex matrix of destiny in and beyond this life . . . That intense joy is compounded by an abiding delight lingering long beyond the creation of a painting. Today, I look at “Almost Candy” and still have only smiles.
. . . Community of Women
After I came home from a retreat celebrating women several years back, I attempted to capture the spirit of those days in the high desert in the painting, “Sacred Circles.” Though we began as strangers, I marveled at how quickly we fell into laughter and easy conversation that opened up into heart-felt sharing as naturally as a rose opens it’s petals in the warmth of a summer day.
In time past women lived in the same household . . . Grandma baked while mother rocked the little girl in her arms and the older sibling studied her reader. Those days are gone, and the structure of modern life encourages a kind of isolation. What hasn’t left is our need for each other. We women share a common journey of the heart. I have suffered loss when I’ve isolated myself from the community of women and conversely have found rich reward in remembering and creating a space in my life for relationship with fellow female travelers.
Maid . Mother . Crone
This June I will turn 60. I find myself approaching this new trip around the sun with internal delight. I am sensing that with this birthday will come the opening of an entirely new chapter of my life, and I’m excited. I recognize and have much contact with me as a little girl. The ‘maid’ I once was in physical form is still vividly alive in the wonder and joy I experience in living. When one of my four children now grown to adulthood pulls into the driveway, I welcome them as a special kind of close friend. I treasure that friendship grown over the years of caring for baby ducklings together, washing sticky jelly faces, participating in snowball fights and engaging in lengthy talks when little hearts were wounded. What will the years ahead hold for me as I move toward the ‘crone,’ the wise woman I will become?
“Becoming” reveals the progression in the life of women, the movement toward a wholeness through embodying our totality . . . The ‘maid’ we once were, the ‘mother’ who has given birth to children, to her own identity, children, or to a thriving business . . . And then, the ‘crone,’ her fully realized feminine presence seasoned by the fully engaged life she has lived up to now.
. . . The Caretakers
A quality I find almost universal with the feminine is the capacity to take care of others. I suspect I am not alone in excelling at this wonderful ability, and I shower it upon those I love. In the thick of the years of mothering small children I exercised my caretaking muscles vigorously and they were strong . . . And, I left someone out of the benefits of my labors--me. The paintings you see here reflect the feelings of losing contact with my personal vitality in service to my family. I forgot that I needed the same care I was giving to those I love.
It took time and courage to carve precious resources for myself in the face of the demands of family, and remains one of the most important choices of my life. Including myself in my own energetic budget gave me more authentic energy and joy. It was counter-intuitive at first . . . What on the outside looked like taking from my family actually gave them more. I learned that exercising my caretaking muscles for myself was far from selfish, it was the act of generosity for the good of all. “Color Drain,” “Acquiescence,” and “Where Did I Go?” serve as a reminder of this difficult and worthy lesson.
. . .Balance
One of the dynamics of my life has been the dance of balance. This painting, “Dynamic Quiescence,” is a visual demonstration of my work with balancing my very strong right-brained ‘feminine’ energy with that of my lesser developed but innate left-brain, linear, and ‘male’ energy. I’ve found that dynamic at play in my thinking, in my emotional and physical life. I aspire to a centered balance, a wholesome, fully operational interplay between the polarities existing within and around me . . .
